Words are not self-image
A journey to self acceptance
Rose Pulido
Issue date: 2/16/09 Section: Opinion
One of the biggest dilemmas a female has to face is self-image. Depending on the circumstances and environment a girl grows up in usually determines how she perceives herself.
For me, it all started when I was in fourth grade. Frizzy hair, chubby and large pink tinted glasses that covered most of my face coined me the nick-name, "four-eyed monster." I stood out in the worst way. I wasn't cute like the majority of my peers.
Nonetheless, that didn't stop me from noticing the cutest boy in class, and every single girl had a crush on him. I was teased relentlessly on a daily basis. Chants still haunt my mind of how the other children circled me and said, "Fatty, fatty, four-eyed monster, he will never like you. You are so ugly and fat." This was always followed by laughter.
Being only nine, I didn't know what to do, how to act, what to think or what to feel. I didn't go home and tell my mom because I was too embarrassed, and I thought she would go to school and tell. I felt if she did that, not only would I be fat and ugly, but also a tattle-tale.
I grew up sheltered, and now I was facing something I had never been talked to about or knew existed. How could my appearance cause people to react in such a harsh way? It wasn't long until I started believing their words. I can remember looking at my school pictures during that time and just thinking, "Oh my gosh, they're right. I am ugly." This is the only scar that has remained with me today.
Therapists call it self distorted image. Apparently, when I look at myself in a picture I don't see the image, only a distorted image of myself that my mind creates.
I wish I could say elementary is where the teasing stopped, but it actually carried through all the way to high school. My mom moved around a lot, and I was usually the new girl. However, being at a new school most of the time meant there were already cliques formed, so I was an easy target. There was always something they didn't like about me, whether it be my hair, my clothes or just me.
For me, it all started when I was in fourth grade. Frizzy hair, chubby and large pink tinted glasses that covered most of my face coined me the nick-name, "four-eyed monster." I stood out in the worst way. I wasn't cute like the majority of my peers.
Nonetheless, that didn't stop me from noticing the cutest boy in class, and every single girl had a crush on him. I was teased relentlessly on a daily basis. Chants still haunt my mind of how the other children circled me and said, "Fatty, fatty, four-eyed monster, he will never like you. You are so ugly and fat." This was always followed by laughter.
Being only nine, I didn't know what to do, how to act, what to think or what to feel. I didn't go home and tell my mom because I was too embarrassed, and I thought she would go to school and tell. I felt if she did that, not only would I be fat and ugly, but also a tattle-tale.
I grew up sheltered, and now I was facing something I had never been talked to about or knew existed. How could my appearance cause people to react in such a harsh way? It wasn't long until I started believing their words. I can remember looking at my school pictures during that time and just thinking, "Oh my gosh, they're right. I am ugly." This is the only scar that has remained with me today.
Therapists call it self distorted image. Apparently, when I look at myself in a picture I don't see the image, only a distorted image of myself that my mind creates.
I wish I could say elementary is where the teasing stopped, but it actually carried through all the way to high school. My mom moved around a lot, and I was usually the new girl. However, being at a new school most of the time meant there were already cliques formed, so I was an easy target. There was always something they didn't like about me, whether it be my hair, my clothes or just me.
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